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Space of GibblesThe storySo i said to the man why do that and then he said something which i did not quite understand so i decided to poke him and then he gave me a funny look and gave me his watch and then he said why did you poke me and then i said it wasnt me it was my finger so the whole dispute was forgotten and we had a pint of noggenfoggers brew.
The End
2006/03/01 Woo new snazzy space :PWahey been away for a while.....
Woot new space styles and stuff, thoguht it was time to restyle my space...
In other words i got bored :)
Cya 2005/11/23 Some things i dont get....1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2005/11/02 MCR Ruled!!!OMG!!!! MCR was great and i swear that the water was spiked! Falling over and getting crushed in the middle of the pit is not good!
 I have several bruises from people falling on me and i bet other people also have some when the crowd surge went wrong, you should have seen Gerard's face when that happened!
 I am sooooo glad i went back into the pit now otherwise i would have missed it all
 It was just amazing!  2005/10/28 10 Blonde InventionsThe water-proof towel
Solar powered flashlight Submarine screen door A book on how to read Inflatable dart board A dictionary index Ejector seat in a helicopter. Powdered water Pedal-powered wheel chair Water-proof tea bag 2005/10/26 Bullet for My Valentine!!!!Bullet For My Valentine was amazing better than Subways by a long shot! Support bands were crap but hey, they were even selling Bullet For My Valentine thongs!!!
2005/10/25 Things to do in public loos
Things to do in a public bathroom: 1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise 4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that colour before." 5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!" 6. Say "Darn, this water is cold." 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, "Now how did that get there?" 9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!" 11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters" 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please? 13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me! 14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot" 15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" 16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks 17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. 18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, "Peek-a-boo!" 19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free.
Things to do with another person
Have a water drinking contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them. Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work? Have a "Who is less competitive" competition wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose. Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too. Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on. Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck (Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one. 25 Ways to annoy your parents!25 Ways to piss your parents off!
1. Follow them everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name. 3. Pretend to have amnesia 4. Run around with a lampshade on your head yelling , " The sun, its dying " !!! 5. Run into walls 6. Have nervous breakdowns at spontaneous times . 7. Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a huge grin on your face and yell " Good morning, sunshine " 8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder ! 9. Run in circles. 10. Pluck out someone's hair and yell " DNA " !!! 11. Wear a sticker that says , " im a retard " . 12. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time. 13. Lay face down and chant like an indian tribe member. 14. Try to climb up a wall . 15. Make weird animal noises at night and when they come to see whats wrong , pretend your asleep. 16. Do what they tell you to do . 17. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house. 18. Hold their hand and whisper , " i see dead people.... 19. When your in the shower or bath yell " im drowning " !!! 20. Ask them quietly " pardon me but do you have any... " then yell " SHOELACES !!!! 21. After everything they say yell " LIAR " 22. Pretend to be a phone. 23. Try to swim on the floor . 24. Tap on there bedroom door all night . 25. Pretend to have multiple personalities 2005/10/19 Random JokeThere were three men who were travelling up north and as it was dark and they were tired they decided to book in at a motel. they went to the desk and they asked for 3 seperate beds but all they had for the night was one double bed so they decided to settle for that as they had no choice. They had a really good night sleep and it was now morning. One of the men said "did you know, i dreamed that i was getting a handjob last night " and then one of the other men said " yeah i had the same dream" and the third man said "oh, right....i dreamed that i was skiing". 2005/10/17 Some random jokes...Alice is forced by her parents to attend sunday school; she hates it and often falls asleep in class. Today was no exception and she was asleep in class. Her teacher sees her asleep and wakes her up:
"were you sleeping"? "NO miss" "well if you weren't you can answer my questions. Who created the universe?" Simon sitting behind her sees her in distress and decides to help by japping her in the back with his Pencil... "GOD ALMIGHTY" she screams "Correct! who Died on the cross for our sins?" again simon came to help: "JESUS CHRIST!" she shouts "Correct! Well finally what did Eve say to Adam after they had their second child?" Simon came to the rescue and Alice shouted: "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!!" John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom." A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." 2005/10/12 Ich habe ein pony lyrics!Ich habe ein Pony
Ich habe zwei Pudel Ich habe drei Hunde Ich habe vier Hamster Ich habe fünf Fische Ich habe sechs Vögel Ich habe sieben Katzen Ich habe acht Kaninchen Ich habe neun Mäuse Ich habe zehn Meerschweinchen Ich habe elf Schildkröten Ich habe zwölf Schlangen  2005/10/06 Ultimate geek quotes1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
3. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
4. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
5. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
6. Roses are #FF0000
7. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
8. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
9. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
10. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
11. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
12. The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.
13. MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
14. Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly.
15. People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
16. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
2005/10/03 Chav jokes1. What do you call a chav in a box?
-Innit.
2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
-Sorted
3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?
-Safe.
4. What do you call an Eskimo chav?
-Innuinnit.
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
-They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
-The bride.
7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
-It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
-One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
-What you lookin' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
-Paint three stripes on it.
11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
-The police
12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
-A liar.
13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
-Can I have a big mac please?
14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
-Will the defendant please stand
15. What do u call a knife in chaville?
-Exhibit A
16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
-A Nova seats 4
17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
-Nana.
18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
-One, they'll screw anything.
19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
-A start.
20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
-None, "That's some uvver blokes job innit."
21. Why did the chav take a shower?
-He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash
22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
-To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
23. What do you call a Chav at college?
-The cleaner.
24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins? -Society.
2005/06/19 GREEN DAY RULED!!!Just got back from green day which f***** ruled. Apart from the odd drunken person challenging you to a fight and dehydration in the mosh pit it was brilliant. Water fights were good around the taps until some retards came up and decided to throw beer which stings your eyes!
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